My usual me

I’m not the usual type of girl to fall in love with someone who just sincerely confessed his heart for me. Of course, I am thrilled and happy about it but that’s it. I went past the confession and I wanted to know the person behind it more. I cannot just rely on my emotions and feelings for the moment because it’s all temporary. If so, I can say I have loved him. Because that’s what I always do. I love people- beyond the pain they caused me, beyond the suffering they gave me. I love-regardless, no matter what.

I’m not the usual type of girl who can easily walk away with people. For the record, I will be the last to let you go. I value you the moment we met and God made sure it was for a reason that we stay like this. I don’t know why it’s hard for me to remove someone in my life, yet so sickening for me to have known someone who no longer sees me as I am. I’m not desperate for the friendship either, because I know some didn’t stay long. I am for the person alone, at least to make an impact for the rest of their lives.

I’m not the usual type of girl to hold on to the words of people. Yet for some reasons, I always fall for their promises. I know in the end, they will leave me. I know in the end, they will keep me hanging at the end of the cliff. But I also know that God will always be there for me. So I have no expectations for you. I just wanted the truth and sincerity for the duration of the friendship. I will always understand whatever you do, or think. That’s you. I cannot expect you to be like me. Then, I will always hope. And hope.

These are my realization. I don’t care if you understand, or they understand. You cannot judge me by my actions or words but only through my motives. And God is the only one able to do that. I hope I answered the question. I have loved you, but not the romantic love you wanted. I always care for you, yes because I am giving back what you’ve gave me. And you are my friend now-no question about it. As long as I breath, I will never forget about you. Because that’s my usual type. Not just to you, but to everyone.


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