Memories

Feeling cold this Christmas season?

They say people love too much. I say, it’s redundancy. Loving always is too much of everything. Too much happiness and too much pain. Everyone has experienced this.

Yet somehow, love is commonly based on someone’s being for the moment. Many find it hard to love someone who has changed or someone who has not changed at all. They require the other person to stay the same from the beginning until the end. And it’s impossible.

People change. It’s an inevitably continuous phenomenon. Just look at you. You don’t have the same fondness on toys you once get addicted to as to now. You don’t have the free time you used to have when you were young. Now, you don’t care if Spongebob Squarepants still plays on television or not.

Seemingly outrageous, people can’t find a way to let go of grudges they have with other person’s attitude, behavior and actions toward them. They cannot move on. They cannot walk past the faults and mistakes. They magnify the past and do not look to what’s beyond. They keep on operating to what’s temporary until they are left with nothing again.

There were quite many people who left me behind this year. Some who I went together to start the year ends our relationship just before midyear starts. Some chose to ignore everything we have for something I found unreasonable. Others cut ties with me for unselfish reasons. And a lot more I wouldn’t even bother to reminisce all over again.

Am I okay with it? Hell, no. Did I try to make things right? Of course, yes. Is it successful? Most isn’t. Because that’s what we are. We are unpredictable. We are unstable. Our priorities change. Our values differ. What we promised yesterday may not be worth keeping today. Chances given to us are taken for granted. Because we are human. We are made of our daily experiences and struggles. We feel a lot than we are able. We are simply what we are.

So I learn to hold on to memories. Forgetting them is never an option for me. May it be memorable or painful, somehow I get to have wonderful times with these people. I get to share a painful, yet learning experience I am more than grateful for.

I believe it’s something to be thankful for this year. Maybe most people chose a different path than mine but still, some people chose to stay with me. Having real people with you is a gift. Not only because we will never feel alone, but for the reason that we know God has given these people to us for a reason and a purpose. Their term may be short, or with an ending not quite good but it’s for us to be closer to where God wants to brought us to.

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