As a woman

Yes, there’s a difference between me as a girl and as a woman. I value purity in all aspects of my life. Staying pure until the right man comes along isn’t easy and never will be. Being at this age, I am so focused on achieving my goals and aspirations in life. However, I cannot deny the fact that I also desire to be somebody’s woman, somebody’s only one. That is why I have developed my personal guide towards this journey of singleness (for the moment).

Stay pure in thoughts. Many times I have entertained the thinking that maybe I was too hard on myself in sticking to these rules and standards I have set. I mean, what more can I ask if there’s someone out there promising love and devotion to me? Isn’t that most girls want? Then I pray. Well, I’m not the girl for that circumstance anymore. I have the strong woman in me who believes that God has me on the palm of His hands. He knows just when is the right time, the right place, the right setting and the right man to match me. I cannot allow the world to pollute my mind with doubts that I may be heading the wrong way. It may be narrow, yes. But I believe it is the right path that any woman on this age shall pursue.

Stay pure in actions. Innocent as I may seem, I never allow myself to be in the situation where I can be trapped by my own actions and emotions. Feelings have the opportunity to master my body and one’s self into any place it wants to. Especially in dealing the issues of our heart. I was once discovered myself having emotional weakness that I tend to experience the extremes of opposite sides of emotions. When I was happy, I was way joyful like I could laugh a thousand times and give the world everything it wants to. When I was sad, I will shed tears of ocean while screaming and yelling and feeling pained as ever before. Now I begin to imagine how can my naïve self receive and give love to the right man? Will I give all of my being just to express love or will I hesitate to give my heart to man I’m yet to love? Still has no answers for that but at least, I am preparing and equipping myself to give God’s love to that guy. How? By choosing to stay where I am, not being persuaded by the world.

Stay pure in words. Most of the times, I am a lot generous with warm and comforting words than with actions. I never hesitate to speak love and admiration to someone. And that is the problem. Most guys have assumed that in any means of my communication with them, I genuinely love them as a woman. Well yes, I do love them as friends but not romantically to begin with. I learned this in a hard way. Since I was a child, I was raised being the eldest and the leader of the gang. When I say gang, it includes my friends, cousins and every peer group I have joined. No one to look up to, just myself and the others. That’s when I realized that when somebody’s being too good to me, having to watch my back, supporting me in times of trouble and acting like mighty in my challenges in life, I gave back gratitude through sweet words which I never intended to be misunderstood. Sadly, it’s more difficult than I thought. The key is to be watchful and careful in speaking words. It’s either life or death.

 

Stay pure at all times, by all means, to all places, in all people forever.

April 24, 2017 by larizzadulay Categories: When I was 21... 4 Comments