Loving is forgiving

Basta ang alam ko lang, nag-aaral ako nang bigla siyang dumating.

Ang tinutukoy ko dito ay isang kabataan mula sa aming church na pumunta sa aming bahay upang makipagusap sa akin. Nagulat talaga ako kasi nung nakita ko siya, lumuluha na ang kanyang mga mata at alam kong may mabigat na nangyari sa kanya.

Eto ang kwento niya. Pinalayas siya ng kanyang magulang sa bahay nila matapos niyang hindi sundin ang pinag-uutos ng kanyang ina noong hapong iyon.

Noong una, naguluhan ako at di ko inakala na hahantong sa ganoon ang pangyayari dahil alam kong nakakakilala ang kanyang nanay sa Panginoon.

Isa lang ang pumasok sa isip ko at ito ay ang katagang pagsunod. “Honor your father and your mother,” just like what is stated in the Bible. But sometimes or oftentimes, it’s hard to obey when things got into mess and things don’t go your way.

I haven’t realized this until she came. Tinanong ko siya kung iyon lang talaga ang dahilan kung bakit siya pinalayas. Hindi siya sumagot, at hinayaan ko na lang na ilabas niya ang kanyang damdamin at ibuhos ang kanyang mga luha nang sa gayon, hindi masyadong bumigat ang kanyang damdamin.

Then, someone whispers into my ears, instructing me to go to a couple for counselling. Of course, I know it’s God who guides us that moment on. As we walk to our destination, I encouraged her to eat, haven’t been eating a thing that evening.

Grabe, iyon lang talaga ang nagawa ko dahil nagtatalo na din ang isip at puso ko sa nararamdaman ko at pinaniniwalaan ko. But God is good all the time. He brought us to the right persons who would help us both. Totoo, hindi lang siya ang nangangailangan ng makakausap tungkol sa kanyang mga magulang sa panahong iyon. Aminado akong mayroon din naman akong pinagdararaanan, at ginamit ng Panginoon ang kabataang ito para din sa akin noong oras na iyon.

When we have reached our church’s destination, we immediately looked for our youth leader’s wife in the Children’s Building. Ganoon na nga ang nangyari at kinausap naming pareho ang kabataang ito.

Pangalawang beses niya ng napalayas sa bahay nila. Nang tanungin kung saan siya nagtungo noong unang beses, sinabi niyang natulog lang siya sa waiting shed hanggang sa sinundo siya ng kanyang nanay.

I was really shocked by her story and as I watched her narrating it, I couldn’t help but be blessed by this girl. She was pretty strong despite all the experiences and problems she had faced in her thirteen years of living. Hindi normal ang naging pamumuhay niya bilang kabataan, ngunit kinaya niya.

Naaalala ko pa noong ako’y nasa edad niya, 2nd year din, wala naman akong naranasang mabigat na problema at ang tanging inaalala ko lang ay ang aking sarili at ang aking pag-aaral. Ngunit sa mababang edad niyang iyon, naranasan niya na ang mapalayas, mapaampon at makatanggap ng masasakit na salita galing pa mismo sa kanyang mga magulang.

Yet, it didn’t end there. We encouraged her to be strong and to expand her understanding of her mother and stepfather. I know that it was not easy at all to live anew with a stepfather. Naikuwento niya rin sa amin na nagmula rin ito nang masigawan ng kanyang ama ang kanyang nakababatang kapatid dahil sa galit nito sa kanya. Hindi ito natanggap ng kanyang nanay kaya naman napilitan rin itong palayasin siya para na lamang hindi niya masaktan ang kanyang anak.

We helped her realized that there really comes a time when parents were misunderstood for what they have done. Like what she is experiencing right now. We believed that when a person got to his peak of anger and annoyance, they tend to utter words they did not mean to speak. It just happens because of irritation and combination of emotions. Nabigla lang, kumbaga.

Yun ang nangyari sa nanay niya kaya nakapagbitiw ito ng masasamang salita laban sa kanyang anak. Afterwards, we decided to accompany her home.

Ito na nga ang nangyari. Nang nakarating kami sa bahay nila, wala na ang kanyang ama at pumunta sa kanyang trabaho at natira na lamang ang kanyang ina at ang kapatid nitong may mataas na lagnat. Pinapasok kami at naipaliwanag ng nanay niya ang kanyang panig.

I learned my lesson as well, that forgiveness needs to understand first.

 At that moment, I was too emotional I thought I couldn’t control and handle my emotions. Maybe because I haven’t experienced what she had. Yet, I realized that it was beyond what I thought. The truth is that until that second, I never realized how selfish I’ve been to my parents at times I didn’t help them in household chores or simply babysit my brother. I never realized how much until now.

It was really not an accident that God had opened my heart and my mind to this opportunity of knowing more what was inside my box. It’s time I go deep and explore things outside because that’s where I will grow more.

God had touched my heart by simply covering me with His love all the time. And when I’m moved by this truth, true forgiveness and restoration will follow my way.

So, the girl and her mother went into reconciliation. It was more of forgiveness and the love of God that was felt in their home, more apparent than ever which I had experienced too. It was a heart changing situation for them and for me. And I could just say, “God, Your ways are really great!”

Now it’s time to keep the ball rolling. I believe I didn’t experience that to be kept in my heart but rather to share and became a testimony of God’s unconditional love and His promising forgiveness. This changed my perspective, my attitude, and especially my heart. Now, will you let this change yours as well?

IT’S REALLY HARD TO FORGIVE SOMEONE, YET IT’S HARDER NOT TO FORGIVE YOURSELF BY NOT GIVING FORGIVENESS. Learn to wait, forgiveness and understanding takes time. Be open and ready to forgive when someone needs it. Honouring your father and your mother will bring you long life. God has promised that. Whether your parents are good or bad, rewards await you.

I believe their family will never be the same again and they will experience God’s overflowing blessings unfold into their lives. It is for the reason that they decided to let the love of God heal their wounds rather their own pride. WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO LOVE, FORGIVENESS FOLLOWS.

 

 

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